It’s Up To You Creator…
Illustration taken From Penny Redshaw’s, Motivating Giraffe: For Good and Bad Days.
I had a chance today to witness some first class parenting and so share I must because this advice isn’t just for parents, it’s for all of us.
While walking my dog Bogart, a woman and her child were also out taking a stroll, although on the other side of the street and a little bit behind me. They were close enough that I could here their conversation and we were keeping pace as Bogart is an older gent (15 years old as of this writing) who likes to take his time and smell everything in his path.
Soon into their walk, the little girl got a pebble in her shoe. When she told her mom, her mother suggested that she sit down on the grass so that she could remove it. The little girl rejected that idea because she didn’t want to sit in the grass. Then her mom offered to lift her up on the stone wall that was bordering the road, so that her feet wouldn’t touch the grass and she could easily remove the shoe and pebble inside.
And again, the little girl said no to her suggestion.
And here’s where the mother’s brilliance came into play, after the second rejection of a possible solution, she said to her daughter in a even tone, “Fine, it’s up to you.” and kept walking.
In that moment I wanted to shout out in glee, telling that mom how impressed I was about her handling of the situation. Because as any parent knows, when a kid is hunkered down on the intractable energy of a no, there is nothing that can pull out a yes. In addition, the child was given not 1, but 2 plausible and easy solutions, and she chose to not choose. Which meant she would rather be uncomfortable then take mother up on one of the proffered resolutions.
As they continued walking, the little girl clumsily with one foot on her tip toes so as not to feel the pebble in her shoe and the other firmly planted on the ground, the mother said nothing. Again, a genius move, as she kept herself from getting dragged down into her daughter’s resistant state and intermittent whining.
After a few minutes, the little girl had had enough of arguing for her limitations, sat down on the grass and pulled off her shoe! Score!
So why am I sharing this? Because we all do it - argue for our limitations in the face of equitable choices and solutions. We get so hunkered down on our story, on our limiting beliefs, on our rigidity, that we either won’t or can’t find a way out.
As an exercise in self-reflection, ask yourself, What is the biggest pain-in-the-neck situation I am experiencing in my life right now?
After having identified it, ask yourself, What could I choose to do to alleviate it?
And then, ask yourself, Why am I not making that choice?
Success in The Game of Life requires:
Our consistent attention and commitment to look (without blinders or rose colored glasses) directly at those areas in which we are stuck.
To identify our part in it, the foibles, the limiting beliefs and the tired old stories we consistently tell others and ourselves, as we argue for out limitations. And then,
Once identified, choose the solution that will offer us relief.
Yes, it’s that easy, although many of us remain in a state of stasis around easily upgradable and fixable situations. And so what’s a Deliberate Creator to do who wants to get out of his/her own way, ease off the NO and ease into the YES? Where to begin?
Well it just so happens that on my website Constance Alignment, I have a variety of techniques and strategies that will help you to do just that.
In closing, as my old neighbor in Northern California, E-40 sings, in his song Choices (Yup), “Everybody got choices!” Yup!!
