Today’s Remedy, Hit Up an AA Meeting!
Right after I stopped drinking, my beloved step-father Bill gave me the sweetest little book entitled, Each Day A New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Woman, by Karen Casey. The title heralded how I felt when I first got sober, each day dawning with a fresh, new outlook on life; no shame, no lost memory, no raging hangovers, no clean up from the night or weekend before. In short, I was living, really living my life and it felt great!
As the days, weeks, months and years of my sobriety have clicked by, I have found that some days don’t feel like a new beginning; rather I might awaken scared, or anxious, or with my mind racing. It happens to everyone, but for us sober folks we cannot afford to indulge those negative feelings, rather we must find ways to cope in the midst of the ick by using positive strategies so as not to be triggered and default to our bad old habits of drinking and drugging.
This morning was one of those off days. I awoke feeling off of my game; my emotional dial set to neither here nor there. Neither up nor down. Neither happy nor sad. Kind of like I was stuck in a gray zone. So what’s a girl to do?
For me the answer was clear, it was time to get myself to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting, stat. Did I want to drink? No, not at all actually. What I was seeking was relief from my negative thoughts and their commensurate feelings. And what works for me is to get my ass to a meeting where my fellow sober drunks and addicts gather and share their experience, strength and hope. Don’t ask me why, but it works for me every darn time and so, I seek out meetings when I am down the dumps like I was today.
As I approached the front door, there was a fellow AA member standing outside smoking a cigarette. Noticing me he smiled and offered a greeting, as I returned his hello, a small smile began to form on my lips and face. The thaw had begun.
As the hour meeting wore on and the stories flowed, I felt the gratitude pile up around me and with it, my attitude began to adjust accordingly. I did not feel the need to share today because honestly, I was sick of hearing my sad sack stories and critical voice that had taken over my mind instead, I listened.
The good news is that I left that meeting feeling better than when I arrived. Am I cured of what ailed me? Haha! Not quite, but I am in a heck of a lot better state mentally and emotionally than I was a few hours ago. And that slight shift is definitely worth celebrating.
Listen up Creator, there are going to be days when home runs are not within our reach, but a base hit here and there ends up getting us to home plate. In the parlance of my Boston AA friend’s, we get there eventually, little by slow, but we get there.
And so if you are feeling out of alignment today and seeing the glass as near empty, get yourself to an AA meeting. Walk in and pour yourself a bad cup of coffee made with a whole lot of love, bask in the fellowship and give yourself a break from the crazy thoughts that like to rise up and torture us from time to time. I promise you, you won’t regret it.
